Some People

I don’t really get some people. I mean, I love dogs, I can maybe understand putting them in some sort of coat to keep them warm. I have never understood the appeal of poodles and shaping their fur into stupid, prissy shapes. That must hurt if you’re a boy. You know what else can’t be good for a dog’s self esteem? This:

Oh hi there, I’m a camel. Cos my owner tells me so. What? I can be a camel. Don’t you mock me!

Hmm, a cockerel? I’m not exactly diggin’ my bare ass and fluffy feet here…wait, are my toenails painted??

RAWWWWR! I am a dragon! I will kill you with my fiery breath!

Kill me. Kill me now.

The owner of this pooch swears she’s her best friend and she doesn’t mind. Apparently there’s some sort of contest in the States where you can make your dogs into all sorts of things and no one bats an eye (including fish net stockings and high heels). You can even win stuff.

You know, one day dogs are going to get their own back…

Weirdy Weirdness

It’s not often in London that I notice my surroundings. I’m very much a ‘know where I’m going and get there asap’ person, especially when it comes to getting from a to b here. But sometimes weird stuff just happens, as I suppose it must in a city with so many people. Yesterday there were the V for Vendetta mask wearing peeps standing around the Scientology office which is across the road from where I work. I’m not sure what they were peddling, other than a general ‘Scientology is bad, don’t get sucked in’ message.

And then today there are these folks:

Who have apparently appeared at Wimbledon, Harrods and an Elton John party. I find them unnerving and also intriguing. They can see and breathe through little holes in the masks, so not aliens then. Word on the street (ie, Internet Land) is that it’s some kind of viral campaign, but hopefully all will be revealed at some point. I was mainly reminded of the episode of Doctor Who when Rose loses her face, but then I’m a geek. I hope it’s not that because then it means the telly is evil. Surely that would mean the end of the world?

Creature Feature

My lovely new passport just arrived. Yay! I have proper ID again. I can flee the country whenever I feel like it. I am a citizen. Well, I always was, but I just didn’t like not being able to put my hands on my passport. So I have a new picture, in which I am not wearing my sixth form uniform, but I also look quite dead. Um..yay for having that in there for the next ten years? Also, it is one of the new ones with a chip in the back. Very weird. I miss having stuff in it though. Woe at the loss of my old visas.

But I’ve got to ask, whose idea was it to put birds in my passport? Random birds. I think one might possibly be a Peregrine Falcon, but don’t quote me on that. And there’s even one on the page with my info. It looks like it’s coming at me, ready for the kill, its beak slightly open ready to pluck out my eye. Are they really necessary? Is this where my (extortionate) £72 is going, on decoration, on making British passports look nice? Was there some sort of get together to discuss what goes in passports? Are there different kinds, like some have farm animals in them, others sea creatures? Can’t I choose?

Vague segue to other animal world issues. We have a spider living in our hallway. It’s pretty big. He has knees. And leg warmers. I probably should give him a name. He lurks by the skirting board and has made himself a nice home there of very thick cobweb. When I first caught sight of him, back when he was a bit shy and darted back to the dark from whence he came, I thought it might be a mouse. I considered getting rid of him, but I’m scared. Every morning when I come down the stairs I briefly consider jumping off the last step and crushing him beneath my feet, but I think he’s prepared for that. He’s not shy anymore. He doesn’t even flinch when I open the door. He’s clever that one. So I think I’m letting him have the hallway. It can be his territory and I will wave the white flag as I pass on through. Hopefully if I leave him alone, he’ll leave me alone. I think world leaders could learn a lot from me.