Some Kind of Wonderful

Some time ago I watched Pretty in Pink again and was less than impressed with it, and the fact that Andie picked Blane. So I picked up a copy of Some Kind of Wonderful as an antidote, seeing as that had the ending I was looking for. But damn it if watching these old films just isn’t the same as when I was younger. Why can’t I keep that feeling I had back then when watching them? Because SKOW is fine, but I wasn’t thrilled by the end, or by much of the rest really. Still, to amuse myself I wrote down my thoughts as I watched, in an attempt at one of those ‘real time’ reviews. What we have here is less a review and more the mad ramblings of someone with too much time on her hands. I also did this about six months ago and then decided it was too dorky to ever be put up on my blog, but you know what? I am dorky, so here ya go. At some point I decided to put the times in, but not for the first ten minutes and I’m too lazy to put the thing back in my DVD player.

We open with a drum solo and a montage of…train tracks, snogging and drums. Huh. Oh ok, we’re establishing that Eric Stoltz is a hard working mechanic who lives on the wrong side of the tracks. He is not scared of trains either, as he nonchalantly walks up to one, scaring the crap out of the driver. Later he looks longingly at Craig Scheffer (Uncle Keith from One Tree Hill. Yes I know he’s been in other stuff. I would refer to him as Uncle Keith here, but sadly Stoltz is Keith in the film, and that could just get confusing.). He wants his car. Or possibly his girlfriend.

Watts, Keith’s tomboy best friend who loves him for some unknown reason, is hitting a drum with a heart on it. Subtle. Keith’s dad is that dude from Beverly Hills Cop. Keith is the first guy in his family to go to college, so there’s no pressure there or anything. Keith wants to go to art school but his dad won’t let him.

Watts is pretty cool. She doesn’t have school books, or study, and she wears a black cap and jacket and is never without her sticks. Keith is a bit of a dork, but he’ll attempt to kick your ass if you call Watts a lesbian. Frankly I think Watts can take care of herself.

And here’s a cut because I go on a fair bit.

Let Em Say We’re Crazy, What Do They Know?

Recently the peeps over at Pajiba did a list of the five 80s movies that haven’t held up well, and number four on the list was Mannequin. Now, you see, I was somewhat annoyed, seeing as Mannequin is awesome! Right? I may not have seen it in over ten years but no way was it a poor movie. It’s about a man who falls in love with a reincarnated Egyptian princess! How can that not be the best thing ever? Luckily I could see for myself, as it was on TV last night. So I settled back for some 80s awesomeness and to relive my childhood through the wonder of film.

Huh. I don’t want to say it’s terrible…but it’s not good, is it? It’s also kinda boring, which was unexpected. I kept wandering off to do something else and then remembered I was supposed to be watching it. Maybe it’s me, maybe I wasn’t in the right mood. Or maybe some things can’t live up to your memories of them.

We begin in Egypt ‘A really long time ago’ where Emmy (Kim Cattrall) is hiding out in a tomb all wrapped up in bandages so her mother won’t find her and force her to marry some boring dude who expects her to be just a wife. Men eh? You mean they weren’t forward thinking back in the day? But Emmy is adventurous and wants to do more than get married. (Yet, inexplicably later the only way for her to be human full time is for her to fall in love. Is this because her adventures were done?) Something happens…I don’t know what, I’d already stopped listening, and she is off on a cartoon montage through the ages. We then hit ‘Philadelphia. Today.’ Or 1987.

Jonathan (Andrew McCarthy) is talking to mannequins. The kind that don’t turn into real people when only he is looking. Someone lock him up. He’s a loser who can’t keep a job…sorry, he’s a misunderstood artist. He wanders the streets in the rain and talks again to the mannequin he made when he sees her in a store window. She was the only thing that made him feel like an artist. The next day he saves Estelle Getty from being hit by a loose store sign and she gives him a job at her failing department store. Then James Spader turns up being his usual smarmy self. Or his usual smarmy self with slicked back hair and bad glasses, so he’s a geek here or something. And we meet Hollywood, a flamboyant gay man in charge of…accessories? What is Hollywood’s job? Oh and there’s a pesky security guard with a dog named Rambo. Rambo is afraid of mannequins, so he’s probably not the best dog to have in a shop.

So, Andrew McCarthy is wandering around not being of much use, and then ta da! His mannequin comes to life and scares the shit out of him. He’s obviously having some sort of mental breakdown. But at least in this state he puts together an ‘amazing’ window display…with tennis racquets. People go crazy for it and the store starts doing well. They must lead sheltered lives. This annoys the store’s competitor, who is in cahoots with Spader and, I think, McCarthy’s ex girlfriend, but to be honest I wasn’t paying much attention.

Emmy tells him she dated Chris Columbus (not the director) and tried out various other times and places. I’m confused. In these other times and places was she also a mannequin, (or a wooden doll I suppose, since they probably didn’t have plastic) or have some other limits attached to her life, or is this a new development from the gods, just to really screw with her? Why?

Oh never mind, they’re having a ball in the store dressing up in costumes. 80s film montage!

Wow, this is really long.

The next ‘amazing’ window has mannequins cycling. With a backdrop, that moves! Crowds gather again. How do they cope with 3D movies? These are the people that lost their shit over Avatar, aren’t they? Well watch out people, the next window is them on a beach! More thrills! Don’t they have jobs? Was there nothing good on TV? And then Emmy goes hang gliding in the store. How is this possible?

Estelle Getty makes McCarthy Vice President of the store. Huh?

At this point I had just about lost the will to live. Emmy is stolen by the competitor. Because…I dunno. Hijinks ensue. There’s lots of chasing about and Hollywood soaks everyone with a fire extinguisher. But there’s a happy ending as McCarthy saves Emmy from being sawed to pieces, and this shows he loves her and so now everyone can see her as she’s a real live girl! They get married in the store window. Of course they do.

I think it’s safe to say Pajiba was right about this one. It’s better to leave some films only in your memories, that way you can be all outraged when someone says it’s shit, instead of having to agree with them. However, Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now is a classic song, and I love it. You can’t take that away from me!!

Goonies Are Good Enough

Last night I went to see The Goonies at the cinema. I’ve never seen it on the big screen, and even though I couldn’t possibly tell you how many times I have seen this film over the years, I still loved it. I may know nearly all the words, I may know what’s going to happen next, but it still makes me laugh, I still bop along to Cyndi Lauper, and it can still surprise me. I think I must have been watching the PG version all these years or something, the Goonies swear? And there were little additions to scenes that I swear I have never seen before.

And so as I take another trip down memory lane with a film from my childhood, I have to wonder, is there anyone my age who didn’t wish they were a Goonie at some point? Who would have given their right arm to have friends like Mikey and Data and Mouth and Chunk? To go on adventures underground and find the rich stuff and One-Eyed Willie and avoid the booty traps (that’s what I said, booby traps!). And if there is, then what the hell is wrong with you people? We cannot be friends.

The Goonies sort of epitomises my childhood films, in that we always had it on tape, or were watching it on tv whenever it was on. We’d quote from it, even my mum gets ‘It’s a stiff!!’ Or the ‘Hey you guys!’ And doesn’t it have the best score ever? Every time I hear it I think I need to go on an adventure. And hell, even one of my favourite pieces of clothing is my Goonies Never Say Die T-shirt.

Yes Chunk, it is in fact, a stiff.

I know this film is cheesy. I know the ending especially so, what with the ‘I love you Sloth’ and ‘you’re my best invention’ and the rejects saving the day and the ship sailing off into the distance. Everyone loves each other, aww. But you know what? It is an ‘aww’ moment for me, stupid as that is. It’s just lovely. And I feel like (and stop me if I sound stupidly old here) it couldn’t be made these days. The kids in it are just so ordinary. All of them. There’s no pin up boy or sexy girl. Sure they have a cheerleader and the big brother works out, but they’re both kind of dorky still. And they’re all friends. They good naturedly pick on each other, but you know they’ve all got each other’s backs. Mikey might seem to be the de facto leader, but he still listens to what they have to say. And I like how they all have some sort of skill that they can use to help them along the way. No one is totally useless. Well, Stef doesn’t do much, but her sarcasm is always amusing.

Plus, you’ve got Sean Astin before he was a hobbit, Josh Brolin before he was a president, Joe Pantoliano before he was in the Matrix, Corey Feldman before he was on drugs. Well, maybe for that last one, he could have been. What more do you need? You don’t like pirates? You don’t like treaure? I guess the only way to sum up this film is to say it’s excellent, fantastic even, fun. I’m never going to be bored watching The Goonies, and I am always, always going to wish I was one of them.

P.S. Mama Fratelli still scares the crap out of me:

Pretty in Pink

I used to LOVE this film, probably beyond all reason. Whenever it was on TV (usually at some ungodly hour) I would either tape it or stay up, depending on the day. The idea that the boy of your dreams would not only notice you but take you out and fall in love with you, that it was that easy and simple, seemed like the ultimate in wish fulfillment (because I crushed on inappropriate boys, none of whom were rich, I lived through fiction). But I still wished, even then, that she’d picked Duckie.

So, for those not in the know, Pretty in Pink is about Andie, a not particularly well off high school student. Andie wears things like this:

Mainly because it’s the 80s, but also, I like to think, because she’s got terrible fashion sense. I’m not sure red hair goes with pink all that much, but they were determined to shoe-horn her into pink in every damn scene. Also, Andie cut up her best friend’s prom dress to create this masterpiece, I don’t think I would have forgiven her for this.

Andie likes Blane (Blane! For goodness sake), a rich kid. I don’t have any pictures of Blane, because although I love Andrew McCarthy and think it’s a shame he seems to have disappeared into the world of TV movies, Blane is an ass and I just don’t want to see his face.

That’s kind of all the plot. Oh well, her best friend is Duckie, who is in love with her, and she and Blane have issues of acceptance from their separate groups of friends. Duckie, it should be added, is awesome. For some reason he puts up with all Andie’s crap, even though she doesn’t seem to treat him all that well, he’s got her back, and he attempts to beat up Smug Steff (James Spader at his best, or worst, whichever), which is reason enough. But if it isn’t, he also has the best scene in the film, when he lip-syncs to Try a Little Tenderness. Best. Scene. Ever.

So what’s right with it? Well, if you don’t have a great dislike for Blane and want to see them end up together, then there’s not much wrong with it. Andie is smart and hardworking and deserves some happiness. And Blane does eventually grow some sort of spine and tells Steff to f*ck off. He’s wearing a bad wig when he does it though, so it doesn’t quite have the same impact. Ah, reshoots.

The other good things are Harry Dean Stanton, as Andie’s broken hearted, lay about father, and Annie Potts, as her best friend, Iona. Potts basically steals every scene she’s in as the nostalgic, kooky Iona. I am ignoring James Spader in this, because I am never totally sure he’s not just playing himself.

And this is the bit where I rant about the bad stuff, because now when I watch this film I get annoyed, because her relationship with Boring Blane is ridiculous. They go on two dates and they’re in love? Was she aware on those dates? The first one showed them they didn’t belong in each other’s worlds – firstly at the party at his friend’s house, and then at the club with hers. Their second date is in a stable (!). He’s ashamed to be seen with you Andie. Because his shitty, smug, slimy friend Steff told you she was worthless. Way to stick up for your girl you prat. And that’s the thing that bugs we most of all, he does this bullshit line about how he ‘believed in you, I just didn’t believe in me’. Whatever. My jaw is on the floor dude. You were worried about what your friends would think so you dumped her. Actually, you didn’t dump her, you spinelessly avoided her and then told her you’d already asked someone else to the prom. LOSER! Gah.

Look, see, they’re a cute couple. This is how the film should have ended. But without that hideous frock.

It’s still a good film, in a guilty pleasure kind of way, but she should have ended up with Duckie, or, perhaps even better, she should have ended up alone. Stupid Molly Ringwald changing the ending. How can she pick Blane, he’s so damn wet?! He has no personality. She’s basically dating a plank. Also, IMDB trivia tells me that, had Robert Downey Jr been cast as Duckie, as was a possibility, the original ending would probably have been kept, because she didn’t get the ‘brother vibe’ from him, as she did with Cryer. I say watch Some Kind of Wonderful, Hughes’ attempt to fix what went wrong with Pink, where the right people get together.

Actually, that’s an excellent idea, I should get that.

Comfort Food

I am still sick. Having a cold is so boring, even more so when you still have to go to work in the morning and you’d much rather stay in bed all day. And when you have to make your own soup and cups of tea. I need a rent-a-Mom or something. My cold is now working its way into my chest (way to go cold) and so I have a delightful cough brewing. I sound like I’m barking when I cough. Oh, and yesterday my contact lens slipped in a fit of bleary eyed sneezing and got lodged behind my eyeball. It was there for about six hours. So it’s been great fun being me these past few days. I’d attempt to rally and buck up, but instead I’m going to wallow and feel sorry for myself, and I’m going to watch a movie.

I’ve been thinking about the films I used to love lately, the ones I watched over and over as a kid. Some of them (all right, more than some) have made it with me to adulthood. But a lot of them I haven’t seen in years. So I’m going to revisit them. I have a list of about 70 so far. There are plenty of comedies, ones with kids so cute you could die, crazy adventures, some horror, and stacks of teen dramas of the Hughes oeuvre.

I considered starting with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, seeing as it is the ultimate sick day movie, but right now I want comfort, and what’s more comforting than snuggling up under your duvet and listening to Grandpa tell you a story you’ve heard a million times before? Plus, Ferris wasn’t actually sick, and watching him gallivant around the city is going to give me a headache.

So I’m going to pop in my video of The Princess Bride (yes, video, because I am that old school. I had to rewind the bloody thing and everything) and be taken off to a magical world where True Love conquers all. Although perhaps not colds…

*watches film*

Hmm, I’m kinda pissed Kevin Arnold is so unappreciative that someone cares enough to come see him when he’s sick. And what happened to Cary Elwes anyway? I have seen Saw and he can’t act for toffee in that, and yet as Westley, he rocks. Oh dear…”This is True Love, you think this happens everyday?” Lip wobble. Blame my cold medicine, I am fragile.