Home!

Yep, I’m home. Landed yesterday at about midday, almost fell asleep on the tube and got to the flat at about 3pm. Did boring things to stay awake, unpacking, washing, uploading my pictures which took forever. Not on Flickr yet though, I’ll tackle that some other time. I also had many, many cups of tea. I love tea, did I mention that? I have missed it. I may have more shortly.

The last couple of days away were spent on a bus from Antigua through Guatemala City on to El Salvador. We got a comfy coach, which was wise as it took ages and we were at the border forever. It was weird to be in such big cities after where we’d been. Advertisements everywhere, McDonalds, Burger King, Subway at your fingertips. I missed the relative quiet of the highlands. But I did eat Subway. I was starving, what can I say? We got to San Salvador fairly late on Thursday evening, and the hostel we had tried to book in advance was full. As we ummed and ahhed about what to do, the owner picked up our bags and put them in her boot. Then she kindly took us to her friend’s hotel down the road. It was by far the nicest place we have stayed on the whole trip. It had air conditioning! Not that we actually needed it as it got fairly cold in the night. It did not however have hot water. Sigh.

And then Friday was travelling. Boring. I managed to get a bit of sleep on the main flight, but not a lot and felt like death. Then last night I couldn’t sleep. I must have gone through the barrier, d’oh! I didn’t wake up til gone midday. Thank goodness it’s a bank holiday weekend. I could not face work tomorrow.

Anyway, in the place of endless photos I give you this, my terrible I-should-never-be-a-cameraman video of my trip. It’s not quite seven minutes long, some of it is sideways, the sound quality is fairly dreadful at times, and it’s possibly very boring, but it gives you a glimpse of what I did.

It starts on one of the many chicken buses. It’s bumpy so you can’t hear my delightful commentary, so sorry about that. You do get the lovely view at least. Then it’s us at Tikal, and me getting very excited about that fact I can hear monkeys. Dave then tells me off for ruining his own videos with my stupid accent. Charming. The trees bit is me attempting and failing to show you a monkey. Then it’s the sunrise over the ruins, so peaceful – until I cut to all the people trampling through my shot. There were way too many of us but they don’t let you in unless you’re on a tour. Then some animal I don’t know the name of. This is what the stupid girl was feeding cookies to. More attempts at monkeys which I think you can actually make out, because they move, not because I got any better with my filming. The next bit is on a very bumpy bus, not sure if I captured just how bumpy. The fact that Dave looks like he’s asleep doesn’t help, but it was mad I swear! It also played the same 15 seconds of musical interlude on repeat to the point of psychological warfare. Finally it’s a festival in the hills of Lanquin (I think, I am terrible at keeping track of it all). I have no idea what it was for or what they were doing, but it looked pretty.

Now maybe I’ll have lunch. My body has no idea what’s going on.

On the Road Again

We made it to Antigua. Dave left the hospital yesterday morning and we got a bus here. He’s much better now. The people at the hospital were all amazing, so kind and warm and patient with us and our terrible attempts at Spanish. In the morning a tiny old woman came into his room and started talking to us. I managed to gather that she wanted to pray for Dave. And so she stood there and said a prayer in Spanish for him. I may not have faith in a god, but after yesterday, I certainly have more faith in people.

The bus journey here was fine except we got caught in our first proper rain. Our bags were on top of the bus and so got soaked. As did we when we had to change buses. Not fun. We’ve been staying in the Yellow House hostel in Antigua, clean and nice with free breakfast and internet. Yesterday lunch was bagels and tea in the Bagel Barn while watching the Pursuit of Happyness. Depressing film. Today we had a lazy morning and then this afternoon climbed Pacaya, the local volcano. Dave insisted on doing it even though he was hardly on top form. He managed well enough. Very warm at the top, and you can get quite up close and personal with the lava.

Tomorrow it’s up early again to get a bus to Guatemala City and then onto El Salvador for our last night. I am going to miss Guatemala. I know some people wonder why the hell you’d come here, that it’s dangerous and yadda yadda, but I haven’t felt unsafe here. It’s a beautiful country.

Slight Crisis

I have spent a good chunk of today in hospital. Don´t worry mum, it´s not me, it´s Dave. He´s uber sick. I´m feeling less than a hundred per cent myself, but nowhere near like he is. I don´t think I have ever seen anyone be so ill. He was all pale and slightly green, even his lips were white. I just panicked initially, but then pulled it together to find a hospital, communicate with the staff, and get him there. We´re very lucky in that the hospital is literally one minute down the road.

They gave him an injection first to stop the nausea, and then some tablets, but on the way back to the hotel he threw them back up so we went back and now he´s on a drip getting fluids. I´ve heard the term amoebic dysentry mentioned. Eeek. He´s had other injections, one of which made me want to hit the woman doing it because she caused him so much pain. His colour is looking a lot better and he was making lame jokes when I left so I think he´s coming around. I just felt very useless earlier and I hate seeing people in pain and not being able to do anything.

I´m going to have a lie down then see how he is. Hopefully we will both be back on form tomorrow to make it to Antigua. There´s really nothing to do to kill time here in Chichi.

What Would Chuck Norris Do?

Let me try and remember what I´ve been up to lately. We got up on…whatever day it was, (time means nothing here) at 4 am to watch the sunrise in Tikal. Usually I would have been fairly hacked off by this, but spending the night in a tent in the jungle is about the least comfortable you can get. It was hot, smelly and loud. The jungle noises I could cope with, the other people in tents nearby were a pain, they woke me up every time I was just about falling to sleep. It was so not fun.

Then we went back into Tikal. We´d been told the group would be no more than ten. Bullshit. There were 40 people in our group alone, and other groups besides. We had to climb up to a viewing platform to see the sunrise and my thighs almost gave up in protest. Plus we´d had no breakfast so that didn´t help. It was all worth it of course, the view was stunning and the jungle was just waking up. We managed to make it just in time for the sun to come up over the ruins. Beautiful.

The rest of the tour was slightly less fun, and I much preferred the day before when it had just been me and Dave and hardly anyone else around. Much more peaceful. Part of the group was a school trip, full of people from Birmingham. Nothing against them but think of the worst accent you can in the middle of one of the most stunning places on Earth, and you get some idea of how it killed the moment.

I´ve been pretty hacked off with other people in general the past few days, and was thankful to get away from other tourists today. In Tikal I was very aware of my surroundings and the fact that every step I took was basically eroding this historical place. And then you look up and see some hateful person has carved their initials into a heart with their loved one´s and you want to scream. Why would you do that? And then a girl in your group feeds a wild animal a cookie and you want to beat her senseless. I cannot fathom what was going through her head. Here´s this creature minding its own business, fairly tame and used to visitors, and your first reaction is to feed it cookies? Then it ran off with the wrapper, so in one fell swoop you´ve maybe posioned an animal and littered the jungle. Way to go. F*cking humans.

But we saw monkeys, Howlers and Spider Monkeys. Howler Monkeys make the most amazing noise. And the guide kept a tarrantula in his hat and carried it around with him for most of the journey. Ick.

After the tour we had breakfast (hot milk on cornflakes, my body didn´t know what to do with that), and then a very long bus journey to Coban in the hills. Much cooler here, actually wore jeans and jumper. On the way the bus played The Delta Force with Spanish subtitles, so I watched that while listening to my music. The motto of this trip is now, What Would Chuck Norris Do? Well, he´d kick some ass while flying through the air on a motorbike apparently. We missed the end though.

Didn´t get to Coban until fairly late, then to bed early as we were going on yet another tour, this time to Semuc Champey. This was a place where there are natural pools outside, and while it was beautiful I wasn´t overly impressed. Too many people there, most likely because it was Saturday. Dave went down the pools and jumped off scary high rocks into waterfalls and such. I sat by the pool paddling watching the bags like someone´s mother. Then we went to Lanquin caves, but in comparison to ATM this was nothing. It was like caving for senior citizens. Still, I fell down, obviously. I´m sporting some killer bruises on this trip, and bites that look like bruises. Damn bugs. Oh and we were there in time to see the bats come out for the night. Think the scene in Batman Begins. It was awesome.

We spent the night in Coban and then we were up again this morning at 4 am to come to Chichicastenango. It´s a market town and the bus left at 5 am. Not sure why the hell everything has to go so early, but it meant we got here at midday so it was worth it. I tried to sleep on the way but the rough roads made it impossible, plus we were crammed into this tiny shuttle bus (they get as many people as possible on them, it´s quite something), squashed against this woman who had way too much room. I decided not to go all London style (or Chuck) on her ass and let her be. Beautiful scenary again, but then this whole country is beautiful. We´ve wandered the market and bought some tat. I´m sporting a very fecthing headband right now.

Tomorrow we move on to Antigua and then El Salvador. I am not ready to come home yet. I miss my bed and hot water something rotten, but I am having way too much fun here to want to return to my usual life.

Night of the Cockroach

I hate cockroaches, I’m making a stand and saying they’re evil creatures.

But anyway, we are in Tikal, which is amazing and words cannot describe it. Tikal has been worth my air fare alone. We left Placencia on Monday by boat to Mango Creek, then sadly had to wait almost two hours by the side of the road as we had missed our bus. That was not much fun at all. Finally caught one of the lovely chicken buses (old style American school buses) and got seats to Belmopan, where we had to change buses to San Ignacio. That bus was already there and looked totally full. But someone took our bags and shoved us on. Very uncomfortable having things sticking in your leg and shoved up against a stranger.

But there we met Doug, who is Dave’s new best friend. He´s from London and lives about two minutes from Dave, is also a teacher and teaches in the same area too. Weird. We were going to the same place and got rooms together in San Ignacio, with his American buddies Anson and Nick. The hotel was very basic. So basic. We went out for something to eat that night and then to the bar. Went to bed early as the next day we were going to a cave system, ATM, I totally can´t remember the actual name. However I woke up that night at 2 am needing to pee. Hate my bladder. And so I encountered my first cockroach in there. I only saw it disappear behind the cabinet but that was enough to make me totally freak out. I woke Dave up and he had to talk me off the ledge as I thought the room was infested. I hardly slept at all that night.

Then all of us went to ATM. We didn’t expect what we got at all. They´d said a 45 minute hike in the jungle (for hike read easy walk on a path and crossing the river several times, and yes I fell in), and that we’d have to wear socks once inside so as not to erode the area any more. It’s a Mayan site and so needs to be protected. And we get there and no one asked us if we could swim, and yet you have to swim in the entrance and at several more points. It’s a fair way inside through quite scary passages and you could really hurt yourself if you’re not careful. Once inside the guide asked us all to turn off our lights to show how dark it is. You could not see a thing. He said you always have to bring a back up light as you’d never find your way out if you lost it. It was seriously something out of The Descent. I expected some horrible creature to grab me at any moment. But it was amazing and we saw some awesome things few people have seen.

We left Belize this morning and said goodbye to the boys. Made it to Guatemala early and chilled for a bit.

I’m on a very hard to use computer so will leave it there. More Tikal tomorrow (we saw Monkeys!) and then on to Coban. Up at 4am tomorrow to watch the sunrise in the jungle.

I was all smug about not having bites the first few days, but I am not so smug right now, am covered! God they itch.

The Long Way Round

Tomorrow I go on my adventure. I wish I could be all laid back and cool about travelling, but I’m afraid I’m not. It would be so much easier to be gung ho about it, bring it on! But I am a worrier by nature. Butterflies in the stomach? I think I’ve got vultures or something in mine. I worry about stupid things like oversleeping and missing my flight, or forgetting something vital when I pack, like underwear!

I haven’t packed yet. If I was a more laid back sort of person I could take photos of my room right now and show you the chaos, but I just don’t have time damn it! I also don’t have time to show you the photo of the mushroom I found growing in my bathroom. Didn’t mention that, did I? I didn’t know such a thing was possible, seeing as, you know, it’s tiled and everything. I like to think of myself as a pretty clean person, and I swear that thing grew up over night, but I dread to think of the state that room will be in when I get back. Will anyone actually clean it while I’m away? Will they remember that the recycling collects on Tuesdays (and then bring the damn box back in again), bin men on Wednesdays? Watch this space.

So yes, I am slightly stressed. I think it’s in a good way, but still, I could do without the sicky feeling everytime my mind wanders to what it is I’m actually doing. I kind of hate that I’ve become the sort of person that people go ‘You?’ to when I tell them where I’m going. Is it really that unthinkable? I’m not going to wander the desert or cross the Antarctic for goodness sake. I’m a pretty capable person. I’m sensible. And sure, I like my creature comforts and bathrooms and hate heat and am terrified of bugs…but still, I can do this, it’s not that outrageous. I suppose if people are so surprised then I need to make more of an effort to become the sort of person that in future when I say I’m going trekking in the Amazon people just roll their eyes and go, ‘Oh again?’ Could happen.

One thing I am excited about is leaving this city behind me. Two weeks without my commute, without people pushing and shoving me and taking over my personal space. No more bus drivers laughing as they leave you standing by the side of the road. No more diversions and tube delays. Also, no work, woot!

As a very wise, very beautiful man once said:

Get me out of f***ing London!

I could not agree more Ewan. See you in another time zone, brother.

My Day in Pie

Because I am freaking out about the airline cancelling my flight and sitting here wondering if my guide books just became redundant and staring at the phone waiting for them to call me back with alternative arrangements is getting old very fast, I give you an attempt at time wasting:

The tea drinking portion of this pie should be bigger. And there should be a slice for ‘Oh my god am I going to Guatemala or what? Enough with the suspense already it’s killing me!’ the size of, well, the whole thing as of right now.

Oh, Oh look!

Guess where I am going this year. Go on, guess!

Oh all right, I’ll give you a clue: