It’s Official

I’m not totally sure how I feel about being a billboard for Tesco, but seeing as it’s for a good cause I guess it doesn’t matter.

I went for a run this evening and do seem to be running further and walking less (except when a fly decided to hit me dead in the eyeball, that kinda knocked me off my stride). I do think I need to add some more time/distance to my running, and push myself a bit harder, loathe as I am to admit that. My calf and shin hurt quite a lot though, which I could do without.

Totally unrelated: I just made the best poached egg on toast ever. *Takes a bow*

R’uh R’oh

It’s such a good thing I’m running now:

These are not going to last long. Mmmm nom nom.

Ice Ice Baby

I didn’t go to the cinema on Friday night as I had felt very ill all day, sort of headachey and faint and weak, kind of like I do in the aftermath of a migraine, only I hadn’t had a migraine. So I went home to bed instead. Humph. I have been feeling a lot better and like I am (touch wood) now over my stupid cold. Thank God. That has to be the longest cold I have ever had. Although I do still have lovely growths on my tonsils that are annoying but not causing me pain. I’m hoping they will go away soon too.

Today I went ice skating at the O2. It’s an Ice Disco. Oooh. I got all kitted up with my gloves and scarf and extra thick socks. (Though it was really hot and I ended up stripping off all the extra layers anyway.) And you know what? I didn’t fall down once! Not once! (I might have considered it had any of the Ice Marshalls been cute, but sadly no.) I mean, I had a couple of close calls, mostly because kids would veer in front of me with no warning and I’d have to change course. I did still end up being in pain though. It is most likely because I never wear heels and so my feet are very flat and not at all used to having to be forced into an arch for extended periods of time. Oh. My. God. It was so bloody painful. It was like having continuous cramp in my arches. I had to keep stopping because I just could not go on (so dramatic). Sigh. But it was grand and I didn’t spend all my time clutching the side with all my might. I went in the middle. Yay me.

There was also the usual kid (rather rotund) who decided he MUST skate in the middle, even though he could barely stand. So he fell so much that the Ice Marshall was basically following him around and the last time I saw him he was being led off the ice in tears.

Afterwards we went to Frankie & Benny’s for something to eat and I stuffed my face on Brownies and ice-cream. Yummy. And now I am at home and quite tired so I am going to watch The Long Way Down (Mmmm Ewan) and have a cup of tea and pretend I don’t have to get up and go to work in the morning.

Saturday

Last night I went out for Rob’s birthday dinner. We went to the Big Easy again in Chelsea. I went to see Peps first as I has been instructed to look nice and that sort of thing always sets me into a bit of panic. I own about two ‘nice’ tops, both of which are several years old and have been worn once. Plus she said she’d do my make-up as we had to make an effort and, well, act grown up. Plus there might have been boys there. Damn. No amount of make-up is going to make me feel like a grown up. However, she did make me look very nice. Unfortunately I still didn’t feel very pretty seeing as I have two huge red spots on my chin.

(Sidebar: Am I ever going to get to an age where I don’t have spots anymore? You go around for, what, the first twelve years of you life?, not remotely concerned about hormones or any such nonsense, and barely remembering to wash, and then BAM! It all hits. So am I going to have to worry about spots when I’m 80? Not only will I have wrinkles and grandma chin hair and most likely boils of some sort, I’ll have spots too? Hardly seems fair now does it?)

Anyway, off we went, battling through the damn crowds at Green Park and walking for an age from South Kensington seeing as there were no cabs about. But we made it. I have to say that the service at the Big Easy wasn’t anywhere near as good as last time. I know it was a Saturday night but god we waited ages for our mains. And they were wanting to move us along quickly to free up the table. Dave managed to sweet talk the manager into putting the rugby on (for those in our party who cared about such things), so off went American Football. I have no interest in sports whatsoever. Honestly, I just could not care less. So when the boys came on I went through the line up looking for an attractive man I could root for. (This is how I used to get through the Arsenal matches I was forced to watch. Thierry Henry all the way baby.) The one I picked was vetoed by Peps for being a born again Christian with five kids. So I looked on and, I’m afraid to say, slim pickings on the England side. I figured, let’s have a little look at the French. They may have lost the game but they win in the looks stakes by far. There’s loads of em on that side! I went for Frederic Michalak. Mmmmm. Peps is in love with Sebastian Chabal. I just don’t see it myself…

Apparently it was very nail biting (as demonstrated by Dave) but we won. Yay! And all that jazz. Then the American Football went back on. I’m sorry, but that’s not a sport. It’s barely even a game. I tried twice while in the States to sit through one of those things and barely made it to half time at each. Four hours to play a 90 minute game. And only one guy is allowed to throw? What? And they all troop off and troop on again and play stops every two seconds while they sort themselves out. And some of those players can’t even be called athletes. They’re just big fat blokes. Their sole purpose is to smush the other team’s members. What a skill. Puh. The Americans can keep it thanks.

After that we went into Babushka (everyone sing Kate Bush with me now), which made me feel old. And then I trundled off home at a decent hour but could not get to sleep when my head hit the pillow. Gah! So now am tired and coldy feeling so let’s hope that goes away. Oh, and the chin? Still red and spotty. I am not a teenager damn it!!!

I got ham but I’m not a Hamster

Sunday I went to see some comedy at the Hammersmith Apollo.

I will attempt to say what cause it was about, seeing as I have the literature next to me, but if I get it a bit wrong, well…Russell Brand couldn’t get it either. Though that’s probably not something to be proud of, being like Russell Brand. Ok, so, this was ‘A seriously funny attempt to get the Serious Fraud Office in the dock!’ Right. It’s about Britain’s biggest arms company BAE paying bribes to a Saudi Prince, and the Serious Fraud Office (SFO, which, if I’m honest, sounds like it’s from a comedy sketch all on its own, but what do I know?) started an investigation and then Tony Blair said no, don’t so that, we don’t want to upset the Saudis, and this upset people who actually DO THINGS about injustice and they decided to hold a comedy benefit to raise money to take them to court.

So that’s the background, and I can feel all good about myself for giving money to a good cause but really enjoying myself lots. The line up included:

Simon Amstell – a person I disliked very much whenever I flicked onto Pop World, but which may have been because of my serious dislike for his pal Miquita Oliver and her short skirt shiny tights combo THAT JUST DO NOT SUIT HER!!! And who I have liked since he was on Never Mind the Buzzcocks. He was very funny.

Ed Byrne – Funny but with such a thick Irish accent to begin with I couldn’t totally follow.

Omid Djalli, Robin Ince, Stewart Lee, Mark Steel, a young lass named Josie Long who was pretty good but made me feel nervous for her, Mark Thomas, the genius behind the show and again, chuckles were had.

Russell Brand, who again, I’m not much of a fan of, did have me in stitches, but I just can’t get my head around him. Why does he look like a badly dressed woman? Why does he have such a weird body shape that makes his pecs look like boobs? And those boots, really? Am at a loss. Ooh and Bill Bailey showed up as a surprise, and sang a song like the Killers ‘I got soul but I’m not a soldier’ which explains the title of this post.

And we had someone introducing and I’ve forgotten his name as he was a fill in, and he was Canadian and very nearly almost flashed his penis, I was a bit worried about his trousers for a minute. We did get to see his bum and I’m never totally impressed by comedians who resort to waving their arms around like a lunatic and flashing their bits, but he was all right and I liked his rendition of ‘I’m the only gay eskimo in my tribe.’

Two things annoyed me on my night of fun. Firstly, woman with 6 kids and a huge pram stops the bus just as the traffic lights are turning green. Takes an age to get on, doesn’t have any money on her Oyster card, has to pay cash, gets all her kids settled. The lights turn red, we sit for ages cos it’s road works. Lights turn green, we go round the corner, she lets out a groan. ‘We’ve got on the wrong bus’ (as if her children are somehow complicit in this), stops the bus, gets everyone off eventually. Why does this happen when you’re in a hurry?

Second, I got sat next to a guy at the comedy who was wearing slip on shoes and who liked to slip them off and then put his horrible bare foot dangerously near my leg. God I hate feet and a stranger’s feet even more so. Also he took over the arm rest and put his legs over on MY SIDE! And he kept talking to his mate. People like this should not be allowed out if they don’t know the rules.

Oh! And we went for Thai food, so no one is allowed to call me non-Adventurous ever again. Ner.

Also, I should not watch films like Freedom Writers as it just makes me want to become a teacher at an inner city school who inspires her class, which, let’s face it, would never happen