Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake

Since we were talking about birthdays, I was inspired at the weekend to scan photos of my past birthday cakes. When I was little, part of the lead up to my birthday excitement was going to Nin’s and choosing my cake. She had stacks of books with all sorts of designs in them, and I would sit there for hours looking through trying to decide on the perfect one. Of course, we have photos of these cakes (although some are missing, where are they??) and I said I would scan them. One of the ones that is missing is my Sylvanian Family house. Nin did a perfect replica of the house I had (it looked like this.) I remember that I wouldn’t let anyone cut into it and ruin it, and I moved in my families and played with it, and then it went off and all stale and had to be thrown away. I was not happy. Neither were the homeless bunnies. I swear I haven’t made this up, have I?

Anyway, here are the cakes we do have photos of. I think these were mine, but if not, let’s pretend:

I think this is my first birthday cake. You can tell because the hands are at 1 o’ clock. I can’t imagine I was that fussed, but since I was a porker, I probably did like cake a lot.

Mr Men! Which Mr Man is this? I was all about Mr Men that year. I had this guy as a hot water bottle too, all smelly plastic stuff and wiggly arms. This may be second or third birthday. Mum would know.

Smurfs! I am showing my age here right?

This one is the first of mine that’s on our infamous home videos. Not the one where I throw a strop and go play with dirt in the alley. True story. I was always throwing a strop. Before the cake was cut we were allowed to take a dolly mixture sandwich off it.

My Little Pony, all skinny and bony. I’m going with my seventh birthday for this one, going on the bows on the pony’s bum, but if she actually had seven bows, then I don’t know.

Does this Care Bear look shifty to you? His head kept falling off. It was held on by cocktail sticks but every now and then you’d just hear a ‘thunk’ and his head would be rolling across the table. Again Nin has kindly added nine hearts, so I am assuming I was nine.

Apparently I was all about Edd the Duck yo. I do not know why. The Broom Cupboard was a big deal. If you’re not British and not my age you probably have no idea what I’m talking about, and I feel bad for you.

Oh yes, ha ha. My whole family thought this was hilarious. About this time I was known for my chair sitting and being in charge of the remotes. I swear I wasn’t as bad as they made out, but maybe I was since Nin went so far as to make me a cake commemorating it.

I did not have a special cake this year, but Nin did make lemon cake I have yet to taste. And this afternoon we are having cake at work. I am going with proper Marks & Spencer bday cake with dolly mixtures on top, none any of this fru fru Patisserie Valerie stuff for me.

Birthday Weekend!

My birthday this year was lovely, and thanks to various celebrations seems to have gone on for a week, which is extra nice. I went home this weekend to see the family and have them love me lots. We had beautiful weather, which makes a change and meant our barbecue could go ahead as planned.

But before the party could start I needed to go shopping. Yes, shopping, that hateful word. But miracles do happen, and it wasn’t actually that bad. I even bought stuff! Quite a bit of stuff! I now have jeans that fit (wow, what a revelation), 2 pairs even, t-shirts, underwear and a new bag. It was worth the trip and it was a good thing I took my big case home with me.

So yes, barbecue. All the family was there, we had lovely food and people got drunk. Ah family. My cousins wanted to watch the Britain’s Got Talent final, and since I am lovely I let them. Then half of us were in the living room cheering people on. Although I haven’t seen any of it and only know about Susan Boyle, who was totally overrated and is now in The Priory of all things. I did like Diversity though. But having watched it I was a bit stunned. This is the final, that means these are the best of the bunch? Good lord, some were rubbish. That little kid, Shaveen(?) right wound me up.

Earlier in the day Russ had said he’d put a bet on for me on the football, since he was going anyway, and what did I think the score would be? So I told him and I won! I don’t really like having to cheer Chelsea on, but I won 16 quid. Ha. Russ did not win. Double ha.

And now I’m back in London, and back at work. If only time could slow down as you got older, instead of speeding up.

27

Seeing as I am 27 now, I thought I’d get to know this number a bit. Maybe it’ll be insanely lucky, right? Maybe this is the year everything falls into place and I figure it all out? It’s possible I say this every year. It may help me remember I am not in fact 28 if nothing else.

So what do we know about 27?

• Twenty-seven is a perfect cube, being 3³ = 3 × 3 × 3. 27 is therefore the second smallest cube of a prime number. I probably should not have started with maths, but maybe someone can figure out some sort of mathematic equation for how amazing 27 is going to be?

• The 27th moon of Jupiter is Sinope. I just liked this fact. It has no relevance.

• The number of completed, numbered piano concertos by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and his birthday (27 January 1756). This one just makes me feel lazy.

• There are a total of 27 books in the New Testament. I really have nothing to add to this.

• The total number of letters in the Hebrew alphabet (22 regular letters and 5 final consonants)

• The current number of Amendments to the United States Constitution. Because if you don’t get it right the first time, no one will care.

But if you really want to make yourself feel bad, or at least, like you’re not making the most of what you’ve got, look up what others have done by the time they were your age:

• Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. dropped out from his job at General Electric to become a full-time writer.
• Henry David Thoreau went off for two years to live alone in a cabin at Walden Pond.
• Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first person in space.
• Ernest Hemingway published his first novel, The Sun Also Rises.
• Albert Einstein published five major research papers in a German physics journal, fundamentally changing man’s view of the universe and leading to such inventions as television and the atomic bomb.
• Napoleon Bonaparte conquered Italy.
• Orson Welles co-scripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane.

27 is famous for something else though, and that’s being the age that many musicians have popped their clogs, shuffled off this mortal coil, ceased to be. I wonder what it is about 27, that so many have died at this age? Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain (totally spoiling the J thing there) are all part of the 27 Club.

So maybe I should be thankful that I have no musical ability whatsoever. And maybe I should also think about how at 77 John Glenn became the oldest man to go into space, at 80 Jessica Tandy won an Oscar, at 87 Francis Peyton Rous won the Nobel Prize, at 90 Pablo Picasso was still producing drawings and engravings.

I guess it’s never too late to do something great.

Birthday Post!

In a couple of days I turn 27. For some reason my brain thinks I’m turning 28, cos that’s what number keeps popping into my head whenever I’m asked. I don’t know why I feel the need to skip a year, I’m sure 27 won’t be that bad. But to acknowledge the kind of non-year that 27 is (as perhaps all birthdays are until you hit 40 – ye gods), here are some journal entries from days of yore, in which I moan about getting older and want to stay 25 forever. What the hell did I know?

1997

I hate getting older. What could be better than being 15? This is my last few hours of being 15 and I think it’s strange that today I’m 15 and tomorrow I’ll be 16. I don’t get excited about birthdays anymore. I just feel old…I won’t be able to get the bus for 30p anymore. And I bet I won’t get used to it until I’m almost 17.

Is it wrong to want to pummel your former self?

1998 (I was on a trip to Pakistan, it was basically a nightmare from start to finish)

We’re probably going home tomorrow – the students and teachers that is, because of all the nuclear tests and frictions here between people. It’s not been a wonderful birthday, in fact, I’ve kept forgetting. I haven’t actually thought about it that much, it’s too depressing. We went into the hills today, it took ages to get there and I never imagined there would be so many people living there, villages, shops and houses are dotted everywhere.

(And there’s much more of me whining about being in Pakistan and how much I hate everyone involved and want to go home, but I’ll spare you.)

2000

11.38pm. I’m almost 19. My last year of being a teenager and everything I thought I would have done I haven’t. I still worry about everything.

But I’ve had a good day today. I’ve got lots of presents and cards – Buffy season 1 boxset, yippee! I’m looking forward to tomorrow but I feel so old. I don’t ever want to get to 20. 20 is a grown up for sure. I don’t want to grow up or get old ever. How about I reach 25 and just stop? I think that’s a good deal.

Hmm…I’m not sure I agree with the ‘20 is a grown up for sure’ statement there. Hell, I don’t think I’m ever gonna feel like a grown up.

2002

My birthday! Pretty good day actually. Woke up at 4.45am again this year. Weird. Then was woken up at 8am by my phone. I tried to go back to sleep but it was pointless so got up, checked my post, loads of cards and a present from Mum. It was a box with a happy 21^st birthday bear, very cute. She’d put all these glittery 21s in too, and they were all over the porter’s lodge. I did a bit of revision this morning and then had my exam, it went ok. Freaked out a bit at the beginning but calmed down. Went back to L’s for a cup of tea and opened my present. Came back to the flat, M was in the window shouting at me to hurry up and where had I been, they were all waiting for me. I walked into the kitchen and everyone was squished by the kitchen sink so I couldn’t see them. They jumped out, ‘surprise!’, party poppers, cameras flashing, as usual I looked a mess. There were brownies and a candle and I made a birthday wish. Then I opened my presents…And I go home tomorrow. Yay! I am done! My degree is over. How bizarre.

I suppose at least we end on a positive note. That’s the last birthday entry from time gone by. So what’s changed? Well, I don’t mind that I got to 25 and didn’t stay there. In fact, I was bloody glad to see the back of it to be honest. 25 was not my most fun year. I seem to have lost my dread of getting older too. I don’t know what I was worried about really, except on days I have a flash forward of myself at 80, then I worry. Shudder. But in general getting older is not that painful, and I have no idea why it seemed so awful at 15. Silly, silly younger me.

This year I will be celebrating in the company of family, a whole army of chickens, and a sweet faced dog named Lucy. Who says you don’t know how to rock when you’re old?