Where You Lead, I Will Follow. Except Here

Months ago the folks over at Pajiba wrote a post about TV love triangles and who we like best…hang on, I can probably find it…here! The comments section mostly degenerated into a ‘who do you like better’ in regards to love interests for the Gilmore Girls. I felt the need to write out my own views in depth in a place that was mine, and not in a comment section filled with ‘Dean is a tool’ and ‘Jess all the way!’ This led to me watching the first season of GG again, and then it carried on so I could cover the whole spectrum of Rory’s love interests, and I watched the entire run. And this, right here, is the definitive account of who was the better boy. In my oh so humble opinion.

Please just love me Rory

Dean
Season one Dean is basically perfect. If you were 16 and a ridiculous tall, sweet, good looking guy started talking to you, skulking in your shrubbery to give you HAND MADE jewellery and noticed what you read and got your obscure references, holy hell you’d love him too. Right? It can’t be just me. They talk about books and bands they like. He kissed her in the market and stood up for her ‘honour’ (it’d be nice if she did that for herself, but if I were 16, I’d love it too). Actually that’s maybe the problem. I relate immensely to Rory in season one. Her quietness and love of reading and not really being noticed by boys. Except I didn’t have a Dean, and so I live vicariously through a fictional character.

Sadly season one Dean disappears as soon as Jess arrives. He forgets how to read, to like music, to have a life of his own, or really do anything other than fret over Rory and mope about her feelings for him. Who wouldn’t feel suffocated? And later still poor Dean is relegated to a hick who will never make it out of Stars Hollow. Didn’t his family come from Chicago? Why does he have to be stuck? Way harsh Amy Sherman-Palladino, way harsh.

(Sidebar: Why did Rory and Dean never have sex? I mean when they’re first together. They’re together for two years and it never really even gets mentioned (except for that misunderstanding about the dance). And then she’s with Jess for about two months and thinking about it. Why? Cos he’s a ‘bad boy’? And Dean was a ‘good boy’? I really shouldn’t analyse this so much. I love the show but I’m starting to wonder about its messages.)

Hey Mary

Tristan
He’s basically the first version of Jess, there to cause friction between Rory and Dean and perhaps be an alternative, but of course Chad Whatsisface left to go play basketball and the show needed a new, troubled, brooding soul to appeal to Rory. Tristan had touches of almost-sweetness, but he was mostly annoying. But of course it was because he liked Rory.

No lie, it took five attempts for my computer to accept a photo of Jess

Jess
Oh god I cannot be objective about this. My hatred for Jess lingers from the first time I watched the show and he broke up Rory and Dean. He is such a whiny, ungrateful douche. I get that he’s supposed to be tormented or whatever, and that all girls allegedly want a a bloke that’s a bit broken so that they can ‘fix’ him and be the only one to understand him (because that’s healthy) but GAH! I want to smack him in his face and tell him that really, in the grand scheme of things, his life isn’t all that hard. So you had to move to a small town and your parents are pretty crap. Boo frickin hoo. Get over it and appreciate the fact that people care about you and want to see you do well.

In contrast to Dean, Jess doesn’t call, he gets into trouble and then he leaves town without even saying goodbye. So they can talk about books, that’s not the only thing to build a relationship on. Hey Rory, my boyfriend hardly ever reads the same books I do, we manage to find other things to talk about it.

I actually do like later seasons Jess, when he comes back and tells Rory to get over herself and get back to Yale. He’s sorted his life out and seems generally ok.

Just what is going on with this shirt?

Logan
I have to say, I kinda liked him on my first viewing. He was smart and funny, and linked to the whole ‘cool/fun’ side of money. But on later viewings I realised I didn’t particularly like Rory when she was with him. She’s all silly and girly – that scene where she gives him her notes in the hopes of getting a date makes me cringe – and that whole weeping on the bathroom floor because he doesn’t like her, it’s really quite pathetic. And then there’s that awful thing where she’s watching Duck Soup with Marty and Logan shows up and they go out for food which Marty can’t afford. He’s humiliated and has to borrow money off Rory and she just doesn’t give a shit really. It’s obvious Marty would rather poke out his eyes than hang out with those people, and she’s just giddy Logan came by and deigned to show her attention. Rory, you are a shitty friend and Marty would have been way better for you. Except for later on when he goes all weird with his other girlfriend.

And I know she has to grow up and change, but she starts using this really annoying voice (and whoever does the wardrobe for season six should be shot. Rory’s outfits are fine enough, but they don’t fit her body shape at all) and just generally bugs me. I don’t like feeling like that about her.

So season one Dean wins, but then he goes off the rails, and Rory never really has another decent match. I like to think she ended up with someone better than all of these guys. Maybe one day we’ll get that Gilmore Girls special and see, eh?