Paddle Faster, I Hear Banjos

Today I have been in the deep dark depths of Atlanta’s back country. Well, probably not really, but it felt like it. The title of this post is from t shirts you can buy, so at least they poke fun at themselves. I woke up at 9 this morning, (after a kick ass Terminator dream) much more civilised, and we headed out in the rain. Yesterday the storms here were amazing. I sat outside on the deck and drank tea while rain poured down around me and thunder shook the ground.

We went to Dahlonega and got there about midday. We had lunch first at the Picnic Cafe. What do they put in the food here? It was so tasty. I had egg salad, and they put apple in it! Which I would never do in a million years but it was grand. And also some sort of tomato bisque/soup thing that rocked my world. We then walked around the square for a bit and went in the shops looking at mad things for sale. What the hell is apple butter? And why can’t they just sell jam? Why must it be jam and jelly and preserves? Pick one! Dahlonega is where gold was first discovered in the US, but alas, the gold museum was not open. Puh. After I’d bought fudge and Sam had tormented the chocolate making lady we left and headed to Amicalola Falls and onto roads where no man has gone before. So it seemed. There was nohing on the sat nav even. I asked Sam ‘There aren’t bears in Georgia, are there?’ ‘Yeah’. ‘Huh.’ We tried to decide, should the car break down, just which house we’d like to go to for help. Not that you see many houses, jut mail boxes with very long drives leading into the woods. I didn’t see bears, but I did see an eagle sitting on a fence post. Probably waiting for roadkill, of which there is lots.

We made it to the falls and a nice man told us which trail to take. We didn’t walk, puh, no way, we drove up. Although first I visited the porta loo and jumped back with a shriek when I opened the door to find the world’s largest spider hanging in its web, chillin. You know, the kind that bites you and your arm swells up and drops off. Yeesh.

The falls were very picturesque, but I don’t like at all the spiderwebs wrapped around tree branches. That’s just not right.

Hmm, what else? Last night we watched P.S I Love You, and even though I’d read the book and thought it was utter shite, and I’d heard terrible things about the film, it wasn’t actually that bad. Mainly because Jeffrey Dean Morgan is in it I think, though not for long enough. Also, I do hate Gerard Butler, so it was hard to care that he died of a brain tumour. And his Irish accent was TERRIBLE! When it first started I thought maybe he was being American, but no. Awful. Oh, and this morning I watched more Cribs and can tell you 50 Cent’s house is also disgusting. It has about 30 bedrooms and 40 bathrooms and looks like a hotel. Hardly any furniture and not homely at all. Yuck.

Ho Ho Holy Crap is it Hot in Here

I made it to Atlanta safe and sound. It was 83 degrees here yesterday. I am sure that’s nothing for Atlanta, but for me it’s TOO HOT! Especially when I’m out in direct sunlight, (I’m a vampire) but I’ll get to that.

My flight was all right, although it felt way too long. Partly because we were held in a queue on the runway for over an hour. Well fed up. But I’d checked in online the day before, obsessively refreshing the page until it opened, and bagged a great seat at the front of economy, in an exit row. Ah leg room, I did not know you existed on planes. (Of course, if you get leg room the universe decides to hand you three screaming babies, so it all works out in the end.) I was a bit confused at first though. Where was my tv screen? Would it come down from above like they do sometimes? And how about my tray? How am I going to eat?! Oh my god. Huh yeah. The screen comes up from beneath your seat. Ooooh. And the tray is in a go-go-Gadget compartment. I was all happy with the on demand entertainment, until I realised it wasn’t working and they had to reset the system. I think every time I’ve flown BA they’ve had issues with their systems. So they did that and it still wasn’t working, you could watch films playing but you couldn’t choose when to watch it. So I was pissed off about missing the beinning of Star Trek, but just about over it when they turned the system off again for 20 minutes. Argh! It was sorted in the end and I got to watch the film from the beginning.

I then watched an episode of The Big Bang Theory and a Dara O’Briain comedy show. I laugh A LOT at that, so much that one of the kids sitting across the aisle from me was hanging over the edge of his seat watching me for the whole thing. I am fascinating. Also watched Monsters Vs Aliens which was ok, bu didn’t make me laugh that much. I considered 17 Again and Ghosts of Girlfriend’s Past but decided neither was that appealing so read my book instead.

I got through US Immigration way easier than usual, although I do tend to panic a bit at these things. I’m the most innocent person ever, but put me in front of someone with authority and I will sweat and stammer until they think I’m planning on blowing up the place. Plus when he asked where I was staying and I said with family he went ‘RED FLAG! RED FLAG!’ and I had to show him my return flight info. He let me in eventually though.

Yesterday I went with Mary to the Soap Box Derby in Atlanta. When we left there’d been rain and it was overcast, so I was wearing jeans and a t shirt. Turns out, that was too many damn clothes. Jesus, it was baking. And trying to find a good spot to watch the cars and be in the shade was almost impossible. Luckily I remembered my sunscreen, but my nose is still a bit pink. It was good fun at the derby but there were about 40 entries and when we got there they were on 12, so we watched some – I liked the Super Mario one best – but not the whole thing. I took three photos before my batteries ran out. Oops. I can’t tell you how nice it was to get on the MARTA (ah, lovely lovely air conditioned MARTA) when we left.

This morning I woke up at 5 after falling asleep at 9 the night before, stupid jet lag. I’ve mostly watched TV with Joe. MTV Cribs has taken some serious mocking from us. Sean Kingston’s house is U.G.L.Y. I have also learned that the FlirtyGirlFitness workout will give you an awesome booty, and that Kirk from Gilmore Girls is in an advert where he refers to breasts as melons and grapefruits. I guess someone thought that was a good idea. I also feel I am being slightly brainwashed by the adverts (oh my god, so many FRIGGING adverts!) telling me to get fit and lose weight with this thing and that thing, but then I am confused since they seem to want me to eat my body weight in cheese too.

Anyway, I am having lots of fun, and being here is lovely.

There’s a Place Up Ahead and I’m Goin’, Just as Fast as My Feet Can Fly

I’ve been pretty crap about updating about my life recently, although my book updates are going ok. I don’t have masses to say right now either, but I do have excellent news…I go on holiday tomorrow!!! God I cannot wait. I have done my online check in*, I’ve got my dollars, I did that pointless online visa thing, my passport is good (the photo is not). I’m not packed, since I’ve been very busy this week, but I should be fine, I don’t need that much stuff…right?

Oh yeah, where am I going? I’m going to Atlanta! I’m staying with family so it’s doubly nice. I get to spend time with them and relax. Awesome. Also, I maybe possibly be going to this, which is surely fated**, since I had no idea it was going on when I decided to go on my trip. Yeah yeah nerd. But Star Trek! William Shatner! Patrick Stewart! BSG!! It’s just too much.

It’s gonna be fabulous.

*I picked my seat, but doing that makes me nervous, because if we crash and I die or am horribly maimed, I’ve only myself to blame, whereas if I just show up at the airport and they give me a seat, I can blame fate. Much nicer.

**I don’t usually talk about fate this much I swear.

Book 49: Dead as a Doornail

We’re back in the land of Sookie Stackhouse. My library is getting speedier with these titles, which is nice. So, we know the drill by now: Vampires are real and have outed themselves, living amongst humans thanks to synthetic blood named True Blood. Sookie is telepathic and fell in love with vampire Bill, her first relationship, but that got messed up when he cheated on her with his sire and almost got Sookie killed. Then there’s vampire Eric, who lusts for Sookie against his better judgment, and in the last book their relationship went to another level when Eric was cursed by witches and lost his memory. Oh, and Jason, Sookie’s brother, was kidnapped and will soon turn into a were-panther. Got that?

In Dead as a Doornail, a sniper is picking off shifters, and Sam, Sookie’s boss, is one of the injured. Sookie calls in a favour to Eric to get a replacement barman in the shape of vampire Charles, who dresses like a pirate. Sookie’s house is burned down, she is also shot, has to attend a werewolf ceremony with her friend Alcide that will determine the new packmaster, and tries to rescue her friend Tara from the clutches of an evil vampire. She’s also trying to fend off Eric’s questions about what exactly happened between them during the time he had no memory.

I didn’t enjoy this one quite as much as the others. It dragged in the beginning, not really getting going til halfway through. I was getting a little bored of ‘Sookie goes to work’. Once it picked up it was a lot more enjoyable. At the moment I’m not hugely fond of there being so many supernatural beings either. It seems that instead of delving further into the lore of each species, or developing characters, we’re just given something new to surprise us. Although we do get to see more of the weres in this one, which I did like. I’m assuming that the fairy Claudine and her brother Claude serve some greater purpose, but again it’s just another magical being that’s always there in the nick of time to save Sookie. I like it when Sookie saves herself.

Still, those are minor quibbles. A major one is that there’s not nearly enough Eric!! He’s definitely my favourite of Sookie’s many (many) romantic entanglements.

Books 45-48: Summers of the Sisterhood

As my recent reads have been a bit hard going I decided on something lighter for my next lot, and what’s lighter than Ann Brashares’ books about friendship and items of clothing? Actually, they’re not total fluff and they may or may not cause a lump in my throat at some points, and I don’t care who knows it.

The basic plot is thus: A group of four friends are going their separate ways for the summer. They’ve known each other their whole lives (their mothers having met in a prenatal aerobics class) and it’s the first time they’ve really been apart. They find a pair of pants that magically fits them all, despite their different shapes, and decide to share them, passing them back and forth all summer with letters. (Sidebar: Pants in the UK means underwear, which would have put a different, if somewhat gross, spin on the whole thing.)

There’s Lena (the beautiful, reserved one), Bridget (the outgoing, but troubled, athlete with The Hair), Tibby (the rebel) and Carmen (the brat heart). They’re all very different but their love for one another, and desire to stay close over that first summer, is clear from the beginning.

In the first book, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Lena goes to Greece with her sister Effie, falls in love with Kostos against her will, and spends most of the book trying to ignore her feelings. Carmen is thrilled to be spending the summer with her estranged father in North Carolina, thinking it will just be the two of them, but has an unwelcome surprise when she meets his new family. Bridget goes to football camp in Baja California and gets entangled with one of the coaches. Eric is older and unattainable but Bee won’t take no for an answer. Tibby has the tearjerker storyline. She is left home alone all summer to work in a Walgreens with people who take it far too seriously. She’s befriended (unwillingly at first) by Bailey, a 12 year old with Leukaemia. She’s wise beyond her years and shows Tibby what’s important. Her joy for life will make you cry, unless you’re a bitter and twisted person who doesn’t find a dying child talking about her fear of time heartbreaking.

I probably like this book so much because I like the film and always cry at that. I’m such a pushover in my old age. I cry at every episode I see of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition for goodness sake. I swear I didn’t used to be like this. Anyway, I really love the film, and think it’s a great adaptation of the book. I even prefer Lena’s storyline in the film. They changed it a little, and for the better, since her relationship with Kostos feels real, it develops over time and you can see they have feelings for each other. In the book, she spends most of her time avoiding him, he sees her naked accidentally, she sees him naked accidentally, they share a kiss at the end and suddenly she’s in love and in a long distance relationship. I didn’t buy that at all. Possibly because I’m not 14.

In the second book, The Second Summer of the Sisterhood, Lena and Carmen are home for the summer, Tibby is in film school, and Bridget runs off to Alabama to stalk her estranged grandmother. Lena broke up with Kostos out of fear, then she’s heartbroken when she hears he’s got a new girlfriend. Carmen’s mother is in love, and Carmen isn’t happy about it. Pissed at being ignored, she sabotages the relationship, (how many abandonment issues can one child have?) and basically acts like a brat for the whole thing. Bridget has lost herself over her relationship with Eric in the previous book, and has to face up to her issues with her mother, who killed herself a few years before. Tibby tries to fit in with her cool friends at film school, but learns some people aren’t worth it. She bonded with Brian McBrian (best name ever) in the last book, and he has become a permanent fixture in her life. She also decides to make a film about Bailey.

In Girls in Pants, it’s their last summer before college. Lena is getting over her heartbreak and focuses on her art, but she has to fight to win her father’s approval. Carmen is dealing with becoming a big sister and lets her jealousy surface. Again. She pushes it away when she meets a boy, but only lets him see the ‘Good Carmen’. Bee is at soccer camp, this time as a coach, and is surprised to see a face from her past. Tibby is running away from love and worrying about growing up, but faces up to changes after witnessing Carmen’s mother give birth.

In the final book, Forever in Blue, the girls have been away at school all year, and haven’t all been together since the summer before. It’s Carmen’s turn to lose herself, not finding her footing in college and blending into the background. She’s befriended by Julia and encouraged to attend a summer acting workshop – working on the sets. Grateful to have any kind of attention, she doesn’t see that Julia is not a true friend. Lena is thriving in art school and meets a sexy artist who opens up her world in more ways than one. But of course, the memory of Kostos is never far away. Bee goes on an archaeological dig to Turkey (as you do) and flirts with her professor, but she worries about what she’s left behind at home. Tibby is in love with Brian, but unfortunately sex doesn’t bring them closer. Anxious about where they’re going she breaks up with Brian, but that pesky love won’t go away. And the girls have to face up to a future without the pants holding them together.

Right phew, there’s the gist. I suppose I could have boiled it down to ‘Four best friends have a magical pair of pants and get up to all sorts of fun’, but I didn’t want to. The thing I love most about these books is the friendships between the girls. So many times these days girls seem to be portrayed as these backstabbing, boy stealing, drama starting cows who use and abuse each other to get ahead. It’s lovely to read a book about teenage girls where friendship is the key thing. They may not always agree with each other, but they’ve got each other’s backs. They love each other unconditionally, they’re supportive, they have fun together. It’s how it should be. There are a couple of things I don’t like so much in the books, Lena’s storyline in the first one I’ve mentioned, and Carmen’s attitude can be a bit grating, but had they all been perfect it wouldn’t have been much fun to read. Overall the stories are compelling and well written and you want to find out what happens in their lives. Tibby is definitely my favourite out of the girls, and I found myself frustrated a lot by Lena, but then I think that’s because she’s a lot like me, personality wise.

And since I’m here, and this is going to be a stupidly long post anyway, I’ll mention the second film. It definitely doesn’t live up to the standard of the first. It’s missing the magic, the feelgood factor. It tries to cram far too much in, including plots from the three other books, and it moves through them way too quickly. Bridget is thrown around the books’ timelines, going from the dig of book four, to her grandmother’s house in book two, and neither storyline is given proper attention. There’s just too much going on, much of it sad – Bee’s dead mother, Tibby’s relationship imploding – without much of the good. (Seeing Tibby fall in love would have been nice.) It’s just plot, plot, plot, heartbreak, plot, they fight, and there’s no time to just sit with the characters and get to know them again. It’s sweet, but there weren’t many moments that made me smile, and it didn’t leave me wanting to watch it again, like the first one did. But happily I can return to the books whenever I like, and feel that lump in my throat again. And again.

Potential

When I went home a couple of weeks ago the baby photo albums were out for some reason, and so I took that as an opportunity to scan many, many photos of me being all cute and little. I won’t post them all here, because they’re probably only interesting to a handful of people, but here’s one that’s a fairly big deal.

The first photo. Here I am, brand new, all of 20 minutes old. I am calm and quiet, lulling my mother into a false sense of security there, since I spent the next six months screaming my head off. Here is a me with a completely blank slate, no idea what awaits her, but she looks ok about it. And so she should, there’s not much to worry about really. The first few years will be sweet, school will seem like a drag but later she’ll realise it wasn’t. Boys will be her friends, and then a source of angst. She’ll be smart, but not as smart as she could be. She’ll travel, but not as many places as she’d like to. She’ll be loved, but it won’t end up the way she wanted. And her 20s will kind of suck, but we’re hopeful it’ll get better.

I know I’m biased, but I think I’m it’s pretty amazing.

Book 44: Let the Right One In

Set in Sweden in the early 80s, John Ajvide Lindqvist’s book tells the story of Oskar, a 12 year old boy who is lonely and bullied and prone to wetting himself. When Eli, a girl he assumes is around his age, moves in next door, he finally finds a friend. They tap messages to each other through the wall in Morse code, they play together, and through his friendship with Eli Oskar starts to stand up for himself.

Of course, all is not what it seems (in more ways than one), as Eli is a 200 year old vampire, forever condemned to live as a child, but not a child. She has a helper named Hakan who kills people and drains their blood for her, but it is not long before their presence in the town starts to raise suspicions. Other characters are drawn into Oskar and Eli’s world – the bullies, the police, a group of friends missing one of their number, and a newborn vampire coming to terms with what they are.

Part coming of age tale, part gruesome horror, it’s also a social commentary of the city at the time, and shows characters dealing with alcoholism, drug abuse, and crime. It’s pretty ambitious, and it mostly delivers, although there’s still something missing for me, and I’m not sure what it is. I think I was expecting more from it, as I’d heard such good things. I thought I’d find it haunting, and much more moving. It was an enjoyable read, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not sure how well it straddled its worlds. Oskar and Eli’s relationship has some touching moments, but their friendship felt a little shallow to me. As for the horror, there’s plenty of that. It’s gory and descriptive and it’s probably wise if you don’t eat while reading, because it really put me off my lunch. Which I guess is a compliment.

However, it wasn’t as suspenseful as I would have liked. Horrible, and vivid sure, but I never had that sense of dread about what was to come. And I never felt fear for Oskar. I felt sorry for him, with what he went through, and at times frustrated by him for not standing up for himself more, but there was no sense of urgency to it, which I missed. The vampire lore is pretty standard, but has enough twists to keep it fresh. It doesn’t go into too much detail about Eli’s past, and I would have liked more on that, although I can see it’s not meant to be the focus of the story. Eli’s life as a vampire throws up more questions than there are answers, but at least it’s thought provoking.

I guess if you’re looking for a fresh take on the vampire story, you could do much worse than read this. In this day when you can’t move without tripping over something to do with Twilight, it’s nice to have a grown up alternative. I haven’t seen the film of Let the Right One In yet, although I’ve heard good things, but I’ll definitely watch it at some point, though not for a while so the book isn’t as fresh in my head.

Screws fall out all the time, it’s an imperfect world

John Hughes died. That’s just not the kind of news you want to hear first thing in the morning. He was only 59. I know he hadn’t been around Hollywood much recently, but the man is responsible for some of the best films ever, the films of my childhood. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched them. I know the quotes off by heart, I know exactly what’s coming next. And I still laugh. He gave me completely unreasonable expectations when it came to cute boys showing up on my doorstep and finally getting that, der, I was their perfect person. Just so you know, it never happened, but I’m ok with that. He’s probably the reason I wanted to be American when I was a kid, just so I could have a locker, and a yearbook, and go to the prom. Even with all the bullshit that went on in high school, I still wanted to be there, with those people.

He gave us Sixteen Candles and the geek that borrows your underwear. The Breakfast Club where we’re not that different from each other. Pretty in Pink (although, as we know, she should have picked Duckie) and the ending fixer with Some Kind of Wonderful. He gave us Ferris Bueller and Uncle Buck. He made Matthew Broderick look cool (I’m assuming since, well, look at him now) and John Candy lovable. And then there’s the heartbreaking montage at the end of She’s Having a Baby set to Kate Bush’s Woman’s Work. If you haven’t seen that film, you need to watch it.There are many, many more, but those are some of my favourites.

And of course, there are the quotes:

You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case…a princess…and a criminal…Does that answer your question?… Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

I’m Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell’s wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I’m… I’m the wart. She’s my tumor. My… my growth. My… uh, my pimple. I’m Uncle Wart. Just old Buck “Wart” Russell. That’s what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They’ll call me that. “Melanoma Head’s coming.” I’m s… uncle! Maisy Russell’s uncle!

And in the end, I realized that I took more than I gave, I was trusted more than I trusted, and I was loved more than I loved. And what I was looking for was not to be found but to be made.

His name is Blane? Oh! That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name!

And one we should all live by:

Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

I may need to have a Hughes movies marathon this weekend. Maybe we all should.

Book 43: The Secret Scripture

Roseanne McNulty is 100 years old and has been in a mental hospital for over half her life. The hospital is falling apart and the patients are being reevaluated for possible release or to move into their new building. Dr Grene starts looking into Roseanne’s past, and becomes intrigued by her story. The novel is split into two narratives, ‘Roseanne’s Testimony of Herself’ and ‘Dr Grene’s Commonplace Book’. Through these we learn about the lives of both; Roseanne’s childhood and relationship with her father, her marriage, and Dr Grene’s relationship with his wife.

I was so frustrated by this book. Surely I’m supposed to feel symapthy for Roseanne, who has been locked up and forgotten for most of her life merely for being an inconvenience for others, for not behaving as she ’should’ have? I should feel devastated for her, and by the injustice of it. I don’t, just damn annoyed. I don’t think the writing does Roseanne’s story justice at all. I found the whole thing difficult to like and I never really got into it. I felt like it could have been so much more, told us more, made us feel more, and it just failed. I understand it plays with the ideas of truth and history, and how people can never write a definitive record because our own memories are so unreliable, but this made it difficult for me to trust anything Roseanne said. Because of this I couldn’t feel anything much for what was happening to her. Other than the priest (who really was evil), no one else got much emotion out of me.

Another thing was that she was so passive in everything. It was a different time, sure, but she never asked questions, she didn’t demand to know what was going on, she didn’t fight to clear her name, she just sat there and waited. And this is before she was put away. I suppose she did go mad, but again I couldn’t find it in me to feel sorry for her.

The ending is beyond trite, and if you can’t see the ‘twist’ coming a mile off then there’s something wrong with you. This is allegedly a serious work of fiction, but the ending is like something you’d find in some cheesy piece of chick lit. And that’s kinda being harsh towards chick lit. A lot of this feels like it’s been done before, and much, much better. I am astounded that it has been so acclaimed and won awards, and I can’t fathom how it was shortlisted for the Man Booker prize. Thank goodness it didn’t win, I’d be even more annoyed.

Moon

If I were remotely eloquent I would say wondrous things about this film. But I’m not. So instead I will most likely gush about Sam Rockwell. Everyone should get by now how much I love all things Sci-Fi. That is of course unless you hate Sci-Fi and zone out everytime I talk about it, which is fine, your loss, obviously. Although I should say, I love good Sci-Fi, which can be be hard to come across, so it was lovely to go and see this little gem of a film the other night.

Sam Rockwell stars as Sam Bell, who is coming to the end of his three year contract as an employee of Lunar Industries to extract helium from the moon’s surface, which is used as a power source on Earth. With two weeks to go Sam is very much ready to go home. He’s talking to himself, not feeling well, and possibly seeing things. He has been alone on the moon all that time, only able to receive pre-recorded video messages from his wife and baby daughter, due to a problem with the signal. His one ‘companion’ is GERTY, a robot (voiced by Kevin Spacey) whose job is to keep Sam safe, and the base running. While out fixing one of the harvesters, Sam has an accident and blacks out. When he wakes up, he’s in the infirmary with no memory of how he came to be there, and it seems he’s not alone.

I don’t want to give too much else away really, it’s nice to see it unfold on screen. It’s an excellent piece of film making from Duncan Jones, who does a lot with a little. I liked that it had a smaller budget, and that he used mainly models instead of CGI, which can be so overused these days. I enjoyed the slower pace and building tension, and I felt, almost always, worried for Sam and wanted to see him get home to his family. I was sad for him. Sam Rockwell is just brilliant in this role, and carries the film almost totally by himself. I am hoping he gets some sort of recognition for it, but we know how that goes.  Kevin Spacey as GERTY was great also, mainly because it plays on all our preconceived notions of robots in science fiction, and you can never be totally sure they are what they seem.

The film doesn’t necessarily tie up all loose ends, and I liked that, it lets you fill in some blanks for yourself, it makes you think, and that can be quite rare these days. I just really enjoyed it, and I definitely recommend you go see it. Even if you don’t like Sci-Fi.