And I’m Gonna Be Forty…Someday

I am, as we speak, hurtling towards my 28th birthday. It’s out there waiting, and come Saturday it’s going to catch up with me. Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some birthdays, people making a fuss, sending you cards, cake! Oh my god, who doesn’t like cake? But every year is just another step away from where I thought I’d be at this age. And it kinda sucks. I know I shouldn’t hang onto an idea of a future life I had when I was 12, but I thought I’d be doing slightly better than this, you know?

Sure, I have a job, and I am technically a grown up, I pay my bills, I have a pension, I’m not a total loser.

But.

I have been in the same job now for four years, with the same company for almost five. Count them: FIVE! And as much as I like my job (sometimes), and like my colleagues and know my situation could be much worse, god damn if I wouldn’t just like a little break when it came to a so-called career. It shouldn’t be this hard. I swear I have skills. I swear I do a good job. I just can’t seem to convince anyone else of this fact, and it’s kinda hard on ye olde self confidence. I know we’re in a Recession and everything and I should probably just be damn glad I have a job and can pay my bills (and I am grateful, I am), but would a step up kill ya Universe?

I have spent part of my day creating address labels and stuffing envelopes with our catalogues. This is what my student loan enabled me to do? Fail.

Here’s another fact about me: I am an underachieving procrastinator.  I am not: Married; A parent; A high flying career woman with minions; Travelling the world living out of a backpack; Having adventures; Really doing anything of any consequence.

I am merely standing still, and it’s getting well old, let me tell you, for, as we well know, I’m going to be 40…someday.